Only Words? Hardly!

Katherine Kersten has an excellent column in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune discussing the loss of familiarity with the great literature of our English language. Example--

For my money, nobody dissed 'em better than William Shakespeare. The unparalleled master of the English tongue may have lived 400 years ago, but he made name-calling an art. Take the words he put in Prince Henry's mouth in "Henry IV, Part 1": "Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-catch!"

Along the same lines, a friend recently emailed me the following neologisms, many are quite good--


--The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and
supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an
artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your
money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the
near future.

4. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't
get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at
you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally
walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at
three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're
eating.

And the pick of the lot:
17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.